Alright, we made a good point. Didn't want to hijack that thread. And since this is my first thread of my own, I hope to keep it special.
I'll post the stories I put up in the other thread to catch up the new readers.
When I was closing up shop to clean, I had to stop the theater video and the arcades, so ritualistically, I cut the power and jump on the mic and ask everyone to get out cause cleaning will commence. After watching the crowds leave, I blast my mp3 player and get my hazmat suit on, and roll into the dark theater with the mop bucket only to find two black guys whipping each other. Without whips.
Any innocence that I had, that job zapped out of. There are millions of these. Eventually you get passive with it all.
The police chief of my city, Chief Wiles, was a regular there. Every moment was awkward with him because after driving down the freeway and seeing RE-ELECT photos of him, and he comes in, dressed with sunglasses, baseball cap, and I coulda swore that he used sprayon hair to make sideburns and fix his receding hairline. He'd go to the back arcades with the glory holes, and come back and forget about his costume. Dude looked like he had fastened a Big Gulp around his mouth and he sucked all the air out of it.
There was this one regular we used to call Payton Wo-Manning. He was a big, built guy with a trimmed beard and ALWAYS wore a black mesh throwback jersey with a matching bandana. The catch was that he would come in different bottoms all the time (Hey-o!) There would be a time he'd wear a frilly skirt of different pastel colors or there was even the G-String. Like I said, this guy is a regular and eventually, you turn a blind eye to it.
One night, around 3 in the morning, he's already working the booths, and this kid comes in asking if I wanted to buy perfume. I told him to get the fuck out and we didn't like the soliciting (irony, huh?). I soon forget about him and start cycling through the security cameras. I see the light on this green Thunderbird flicker on and off and when I go outside to check it out, that kid runs out of the car, heading towards the mountains.
I jump on the mic and ask for the owner of that car to come up. And wait...and wait...Back on the mic, I urge that person to come out and announce the nature of the situation.
"I think your car was broken into."
I flick through the cameras and one of the arcade doors open and he's running in his heels, wiping his mouth.
He checks his car and notices that they stole his backpack which had his drag costume and about 1,300 dollars in cash. (Tips, I guess? Not for me to know.)
I ask him if he wants to call the cops and after mulling it over for few minutes, he agrees that that would be the right thing to do.
So when the cop shows up, I greet him outside and tell him that I'm the manager on duty and that I have the tape of it and can ID the kid. He then asks to speak to the owner of the car, when Payton emerges from the shop in a silver tight skirt and sparkling heels.
/awkward #1
The cop asks what was stolen and Payton runs down the list of a halter top, panties, and $1300 in cash. When the cop asks him why he was carrying that much cash at one point, he simply responded with, "That's how much I made tonight." The cop looked at me and I just shrugged. I go back inside and begin to fill out this form we keep track of, every time police roll by our shop and when I look up at the monitor, I notice that I can't see either one of them anymore. I don't bother prying because that'll only end in tears, but for our records, I needed to have the plate number the car that got vandalized. When I go outside, I take my time walking to that end of the parking lot, light a cigarette and loudly clear my throat when they both come out. I tell Payton that I need his plate numbers just for our records, I don't know why but that I do. He allows me to record them and as I'm walking away, I hear the cop say, "Call me. I've never had that done before."
/awkward 2.
Epilogue, they found that kid and arrested him.
I'll post the stories I put up in the other thread to catch up the new readers.
When I was closing up shop to clean, I had to stop the theater video and the arcades, so ritualistically, I cut the power and jump on the mic and ask everyone to get out cause cleaning will commence. After watching the crowds leave, I blast my mp3 player and get my hazmat suit on, and roll into the dark theater with the mop bucket only to find two black guys whipping each other. Without whips.
Any innocence that I had, that job zapped out of. There are millions of these. Eventually you get passive with it all.
The police chief of my city, Chief Wiles, was a regular there. Every moment was awkward with him because after driving down the freeway and seeing RE-ELECT photos of him, and he comes in, dressed with sunglasses, baseball cap, and I coulda swore that he used sprayon hair to make sideburns and fix his receding hairline. He'd go to the back arcades with the glory holes, and come back and forget about his costume. Dude looked like he had fastened a Big Gulp around his mouth and he sucked all the air out of it.
There was this one regular we used to call Payton Wo-Manning. He was a big, built guy with a trimmed beard and ALWAYS wore a black mesh throwback jersey with a matching bandana. The catch was that he would come in different bottoms all the time (Hey-o!) There would be a time he'd wear a frilly skirt of different pastel colors or there was even the G-String. Like I said, this guy is a regular and eventually, you turn a blind eye to it.
One night, around 3 in the morning, he's already working the booths, and this kid comes in asking if I wanted to buy perfume. I told him to get the fuck out and we didn't like the soliciting (irony, huh?). I soon forget about him and start cycling through the security cameras. I see the light on this green Thunderbird flicker on and off and when I go outside to check it out, that kid runs out of the car, heading towards the mountains.
I jump on the mic and ask for the owner of that car to come up. And wait...and wait...Back on the mic, I urge that person to come out and announce the nature of the situation.
"I think your car was broken into."
I flick through the cameras and one of the arcade doors open and he's running in his heels, wiping his mouth.
He checks his car and notices that they stole his backpack which had his drag costume and about 1,300 dollars in cash. (Tips, I guess? Not for me to know.)
I ask him if he wants to call the cops and after mulling it over for few minutes, he agrees that that would be the right thing to do.
So when the cop shows up, I greet him outside and tell him that I'm the manager on duty and that I have the tape of it and can ID the kid. He then asks to speak to the owner of the car, when Payton emerges from the shop in a silver tight skirt and sparkling heels.
/awkward #1
The cop asks what was stolen and Payton runs down the list of a halter top, panties, and $1300 in cash. When the cop asks him why he was carrying that much cash at one point, he simply responded with, "That's how much I made tonight." The cop looked at me and I just shrugged. I go back inside and begin to fill out this form we keep track of, every time police roll by our shop and when I look up at the monitor, I notice that I can't see either one of them anymore. I don't bother prying because that'll only end in tears, but for our records, I needed to have the plate number the car that got vandalized. When I go outside, I take my time walking to that end of the parking lot, light a cigarette and loudly clear my throat when they both come out. I tell Payton that I need his plate numbers just for our records, I don't know why but that I do. He allows me to record them and as I'm walking away, I hear the cop say, "Call me. I've never had that done before."
/awkward 2.
Epilogue, they found that kid and arrested him.
...thats nuts
holy shit
I want 17% of the profit from this thread, + a company car. A YUGOSLAVIAN CAR.
I got cavyar dreams and champane wishes, bitchez.
I got cavyar dreams and champane wishes, bitchez.
Now to elaborate on the whole "Couples" subject. We had our regulars. I never wanted to know their names and so, by default, I gave them nicknames. The main couple was this older mexican guy who always wore sunglasses due to his stationary glass eye and came in with his short and stout wife. Crazy Eyes and Teapot.
I never would go into the theater unless something catastrophic was happening but from what I understood from the other regulars, Crazy Eyes would let other guys touch his wife's breasts. Occasionally, she would give him a hand job but not publicly.
The other couple was aptly named Jackpot. They were a couple in real estate, this I know, due to their faces being plastered on benches and State Farm billboards on the west side of the city. The husband was about 5'9'', lean, and not a bad looking guy for 40+. The wife....jesus. The wife was perfect where she needed to be. Had curves where they needed to be. And that look that suggested that you needed to be where she would be. Red hair, taller than the guy, and she'd always come in with that classic secretary garb.
The hookers never counted as couples because they knew the rules there. No transactions on property and my facilities were strictly for the deed and then you vacate the premises. If they were propositioned while in the store, they were quick to inform the clerk who, depending on the day, would take the bat to you or call the cops. (I only used the bat very few times.)
I never would go into the theater unless something catastrophic was happening but from what I understood from the other regulars, Crazy Eyes would let other guys touch his wife's breasts. Occasionally, she would give him a hand job but not publicly.
The other couple was aptly named Jackpot. They were a couple in real estate, this I know, due to their faces being plastered on benches and State Farm billboards on the west side of the city. The husband was about 5'9'', lean, and not a bad looking guy for 40+. The wife....jesus. The wife was perfect where she needed to be. Had curves where they needed to be. And that look that suggested that you needed to be where she would be. Red hair, taller than the guy, and she'd always come in with that classic secretary garb.
The hookers never counted as couples because they knew the rules there. No transactions on property and my facilities were strictly for the deed and then you vacate the premises. If they were propositioned while in the store, they were quick to inform the clerk who, depending on the day, would take the bat to you or call the cops. (I only used the bat very few times.)
I'll get you a Fiat.
Make it a brown 1983 Saab 900 with an extra battery for under the back seat and you got a deal.
btw, I believe each and every story should be illustrated and cross-posted in the Demotivators thread.
I WANT 2.17% PROFIT OF EVERY CROSS-POST!
I WANT 2.17% PROFIT OF EVERY CROSS-POST!
The thing was, if you worked there, you couldn't participate in anything while on shift.
The first time Jackpot came over, the guy flat out told me, "We're going to be putting on a show in the theater." He had said that for me to waive the 6 dollar entrance fee, but I was still new there, so I still charged him. (Anyone who has worked a shop knows not to charge the entertainment. Commission.)
They went into a theater on a dead time where I might of had perhaps, one other guy in there.
But no sooner than 5 minutes that Jackpot enters, the one guy comes out, pitching a tent and not giving a damn. He demands a condom. "Whatever. The cheapest ones you have" he says. I toss him a novelty glow-in-the-dark single and send him on his way. The thought occurs to me that these perverted jerkoffs are having all the fun, and here I am, thumbing through an old Hustler (possibly the one with Afroman smoking his bong publicly in Washington.)
One of the other cruisers notices the hurry in this guy and walks towards my counter and asks, "What's going on in the theater?"
I tell him that if he wants to find out, that it'd be 6 dollars. The curiosity eats at him and he cautiously walks in as my night is starting to get busy. More cruisers come in usually after 2 when last call is made, and now they're wandering the arcade. Some clerks hate the wander. Me personally, as long as they didn't make a mess and didn't do it in front of me.
But same thing. That cruiser comes out and begs for a condom. When I ask him why, he blurts out, "That guy won't let me fuck his wife without a condom." And like meerkats, they all begin to Red Light Green Light to the cash register. From what I recall, it was about 12 guys to that one girl.
After some time masses and some cigarette breaks, I return to my cash tower to see people slowly starting to exit the theater. They're all friends now! Like, sharing recipes and showing photos of their kids. They collectively go outside and smoke their lungs dry and hearts slow. Then I see her...lace balcony bra, panty-less, garter and black lace stalkings, casually walking to the bathroom. The guy comes out and leans on the counter and just says, "You should come in there. She thinks you're cute."
A moral dilemma as going in and fucking this gorgeous cum dumpster would cost me my job as the entrance is video taped. I decline and he goes to join the cigarette party.
She exits the bathroom and leans on the end of the counter, next to my Virtual Girl display and coyly asks if I'd like to join. She tells me that she thinks I'm cute and that she thinks I would have a huge dick that she could suck on.
...I decline and go outside to smoke the entire pack of Marlboro 100s. I have rent due.
The first time Jackpot came over, the guy flat out told me, "We're going to be putting on a show in the theater." He had said that for me to waive the 6 dollar entrance fee, but I was still new there, so I still charged him. (Anyone who has worked a shop knows not to charge the entertainment. Commission.)
They went into a theater on a dead time where I might of had perhaps, one other guy in there.
But no sooner than 5 minutes that Jackpot enters, the one guy comes out, pitching a tent and not giving a damn. He demands a condom. "Whatever. The cheapest ones you have" he says. I toss him a novelty glow-in-the-dark single and send him on his way. The thought occurs to me that these perverted jerkoffs are having all the fun, and here I am, thumbing through an old Hustler (possibly the one with Afroman smoking his bong publicly in Washington.)
One of the other cruisers notices the hurry in this guy and walks towards my counter and asks, "What's going on in the theater?"
I tell him that if he wants to find out, that it'd be 6 dollars. The curiosity eats at him and he cautiously walks in as my night is starting to get busy. More cruisers come in usually after 2 when last call is made, and now they're wandering the arcade. Some clerks hate the wander. Me personally, as long as they didn't make a mess and didn't do it in front of me.
But same thing. That cruiser comes out and begs for a condom. When I ask him why, he blurts out, "That guy won't let me fuck his wife without a condom." And like meerkats, they all begin to Red Light Green Light to the cash register. From what I recall, it was about 12 guys to that one girl.
After some time masses and some cigarette breaks, I return to my cash tower to see people slowly starting to exit the theater. They're all friends now! Like, sharing recipes and showing photos of their kids. They collectively go outside and smoke their lungs dry and hearts slow. Then I see her...lace balcony bra, panty-less, garter and black lace stalkings, casually walking to the bathroom. The guy comes out and leans on the counter and just says, "You should come in there. She thinks you're cute."
A moral dilemma as going in and fucking this gorgeous cum dumpster would cost me my job as the entrance is video taped. I decline and he goes to join the cigarette party.
She exits the bathroom and leans on the end of the counter, next to my Virtual Girl display and coyly asks if I'd like to join. She tells me that she thinks I'm cute and that she thinks I would have a huge dick that she could suck on.
...I decline and go outside to smoke the entire pack of Marlboro 100s. I have rent due.
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
Date: 5/15/09 @ 11:00 PM
11
i'm not sure whether that job is awesome or horrible.
i wanna see a picture of that chick though.
i wanna see a picture of that chick though.
Dear Penthouse,
I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, but I just got a job in a pr0n store and...
I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, but I just got a job in a pr0n store and...
She goes back into the theater and the guys, now with their second wind, go back in there too, (not without me recharging them.)
One of my favorite regulars, Priest (cause he was a priest but decided to kneel for another cause) comes in. He's a nice guy and trustworthy as he is cock-crazy. He squeals like a schoolgirl when a guy of his type comes in. Well, he comes in with his offering of Sonic's Popcorn chicken and a large Cherry Limeade, so I don't charge him. He asks how the night was going and about small trivial things about the shop when I just ask him.
"Priest, could you go into the theater and describe to me what's going on in there?"
Without hesitation, he rounds the corner and I hear the door entrance beep go off as he enters in. 5 seconds later, he peeks his head around the corner and exclaims, "It's beautiful! It's so fucking beautiful!" And he goes back in.
Around 5am, when I need to clean, I ritualistically power off the arcades and power off the movie playing in the theater. I jump on the trusty intercom and announce that Harris News and Arcade is closed for cleaning and will be open in 1 hour. GTFO.
Like an actual theater, a few of the guys exit out and head to the bathrooms to clean themselves off or whatnot. Jackpot exits out. The guy, red in the face and sweating and the girl, hair fucked up, and light makeup running from, what I'm guessing was a bukkake popshot extravaganza. They casually say bye and she winks as she leaves.
Last one out was Priest of whom I parentally directed him outside. After everyone was out, I asked him to tell me everything. He told me that if you wanted the guy, you got the guy. And if you wanted the girl, you got the girl. In short, whatever tickled your fancy, Jackpot tickled it.
One of my favorite regulars, Priest (cause he was a priest but decided to kneel for another cause) comes in. He's a nice guy and trustworthy as he is cock-crazy. He squeals like a schoolgirl when a guy of his type comes in. Well, he comes in with his offering of Sonic's Popcorn chicken and a large Cherry Limeade, so I don't charge him. He asks how the night was going and about small trivial things about the shop when I just ask him.
"Priest, could you go into the theater and describe to me what's going on in there?"
Without hesitation, he rounds the corner and I hear the door entrance beep go off as he enters in. 5 seconds later, he peeks his head around the corner and exclaims, "It's beautiful! It's so fucking beautiful!" And he goes back in.
Around 5am, when I need to clean, I ritualistically power off the arcades and power off the movie playing in the theater. I jump on the trusty intercom and announce that Harris News and Arcade is closed for cleaning and will be open in 1 hour. GTFO.
Like an actual theater, a few of the guys exit out and head to the bathrooms to clean themselves off or whatnot. Jackpot exits out. The guy, red in the face and sweating and the girl, hair fucked up, and light makeup running from, what I'm guessing was a bukkake popshot extravaganza. They casually say bye and she winks as she leaves.
Last one out was Priest of whom I parentally directed him outside. After everyone was out, I asked him to tell me everything. He told me that if you wanted the guy, you got the guy. And if you wanted the girl, you got the girl. In short, whatever tickled your fancy, Jackpot tickled it.
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
Date: 5/15/09 @ 11:11 PM
14
i don't get it, there was an actual arcade in there?
Wait.
Where was this Arcade?
What city?
Where was this Arcade?
What city?
El Paso, TX. Well kinda. It was on the border of TX and NM. Sunland Park, NM. Harris News and Arcade. 88063 zip code. Next to the state line restaurant.
...if you have a squirt account, we're listed as one of the top places to cruise.
I know this...because I'm a porn shop employee.
...if you have a squirt account, we're listed as one of the top places to cruise.
I know this...because I'm a porn shop employee.
Ahh, El Chuco
I have no idea what a squirt account is.
Harris arcade in the ABQ journal.
Harris arcade in the ABQ journal.
I ended up at an all night store last time I headed home- friends and I got drunk and someone ended up driving us out for food. i met a fat chick and talked about s&m gear for what i remember being like 45 min. good times.
Oh yeah, I got there shortly after that had happened. The arcades used to have the classic "girl dancing when you slip her cash" and that wooden board would slide upwards. Now they're storage. Lost a lot of business.
What's funny is that whenever we got raided, depending on where the police were from, we'd say we belonged to the other city. Sunland cops are like mall police but they can eat up a lot of time and El Paso cops, well...as in the aforementioned story, like to get their pee pees touched by crossdressing football players. Plus, EP can't touch them. The whole police chief thing? Well, he's a friend of the owner (ex-owner, I think he got moved to Phoenix when I left) and what my Undercovers say is there's recorded footage ready for blackmail. I cannot vouch for that, but it wouldn't surprise me.
What's funny is that whenever we got raided, depending on where the police were from, we'd say we belonged to the other city. Sunland cops are like mall police but they can eat up a lot of time and El Paso cops, well...as in the aforementioned story, like to get their pee pees touched by crossdressing football players. Plus, EP can't touch them. The whole police chief thing? Well, he's a friend of the owner (ex-owner, I think he got moved to Phoenix when I left) and what my Undercovers say is there's recorded footage ready for blackmail. I cannot vouch for that, but it wouldn't surprise me.
duke of slander said:
i don't get it, there was an actual arcade in there?
i don't get it, there was an actual arcade in there?
Yeah man you should play donkey kong there.
Right up your alley I'm sure
El Pinchi Chuco, indeed. The biggest small town ever.
Plus, like I said, our cops are...bipolar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fadC6fWc4Pk
Technically, the arcade and theater were in TX and the shop itself was in NM. The selling of phallic items is illegal in TX.
Oh and Squirt is a crusing community. Think adultfriendfinder for all dudes.
Plus, like I said, our cops are...bipolar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fadC6fWc4Pk
Technically, the arcade and theater were in TX and the shop itself was in NM. The selling of phallic items is illegal in TX.
Oh and Squirt is a crusing community. Think adultfriendfinder for all dudes.
The selling of phallic items is illegal in TX.
Oh we can sell that, but they're not phallic shaped. Carrot squares are popular here in this quiet mexican town.
The worst was when you'd find open product from the floor. People LOVED to steal the Mambo vibe (the package was easy to open) and use it in the arcades and just leave it there.
The worst was when you'd find open product from the floor. People LOVED to steal the Mambo vibe (the package was easy to open) and use it in the arcades and just leave it there.
Thats both awesome and gross. I honestly cant decide which.
I liked it better when it was in the wrong thread..
so then what would you do with it, after you found it??
This is the best thread in the last three years
this is the sickest thread ever
i can't stop reading
i can't stop reading
buttons said:
so then what would you do with it, after you found it??
so then what would you do with it, after you found it??
guys- if you found a capped fleshlight- would you?
Yeah no shit...it really is
I was reading eariler before the pornshop story and wanted to kick myself in the nuts
I was reading eariler before the pornshop story and wanted to kick myself in the nuts
There were 3 shifts, (12-8, 8-4, 4-12) and a staff of 4 people. You could have a night off, but technically, you'd still be coming in the next day at midnight.
Rick used to be the bouncer at this bar that gained notoriety as the Fight Bar. Most people would call him Tree, (or Arbol in spanish) due to his tall intimidating physique, and threatening demeanor. Long, black guitar shredder hair in a braid reaching down to the small of his back and chin piece reaching down to his mid chest. Tattoos, most of them crappily done, but no one would ever confront him about that because he was quick to use to the bat more times than me.
Rick and I became friends before the shop, and actually been acquainted to me due to a past job I had running a hookah lounge downtown (See The Hookah Thread.) He was proud, had a childlike interest to games where you shoot Nazi's and his crappy, ghetto apartment was lined with porn that he stole (Dvd's and magazines), vibrating cock rings, the 2008 Tera Patrick calendar and 2 giant flags, one Confederate, and one Nazi. (The irony not lost on me, as he was Mexican, and the girls he would fuck were either fat Mexicans, or dirty army wives.) He always had a love/hate relationship with the shop, but was under a verbal agreement with the manager, that kept him from going back to jail (for assault, big shocker.)
The story is about Jackpot and Arbol. I came in at midnight, and usually, if I ever come in and he's working the 4-12, he sticks around with me, we kill a few cigs, and we talk and bullshit with the customers. This was around the time Call of Duty: World at War Demo was coming out and he asked about it. I'm a video game nerd myself so I indulge him with things I've read on the Internet and such. Some time has passed, and he's realizing that he should probably go home and sleep as he is my relief at 8 in the morning. As he exits and jumps into his rusted, beat up, yellow with black racing striped 60's era Camero, he notices that familiar black Escalade pull up and he quickly bolts out of the car and comes behind the counter with me. Jackpot walks in. I give them the nod to go ahead and they reciprocate with an eager smile and a polite neighborly hand wave.
"Dude, I'm going in. I don't give a fuck. Joe can suck my donkey dick." As he would typically say. He walks in with all the authority in the is own little world and the chime of the theater door hits and, he's in.
Time passes, and I'm doing my hourly cash count and sales track. No cash really made and no sales either. In a blur, he storms out the theater and a mumbled "I'll see you later" and he's out the door. I froze for a moment longer than his dramatic storm off and quickly rushed to text him.
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-What happened?-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-I'll tell you later.-
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-Did the balls touch?-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-Shut the fuck up. No. I'm going home to have a beer and if I'm drunk enough, I'll call you.-
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-...the balls touched.-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-Fuck you.-
I never received a call back that night. He came in at 8, on time, and when I asked, he would just nod, glare at me, and I knew to shut up. It wasn't until a trip to my favorite watering hole a couple weeks later, did he tell me.
After killing about 7 pitchers of Amber Bock (oh and we're alcoholics. You had to be to work at a place like that for as long as we did), Arbol begins to open up.
"What happened that night, was they were in the middle row. She was riding him, hard. He was facing the screen and she was facing the back of the theater, rightly so. There wasn't that many people in the theater but a couple regulars so I went over his shoulder and unzipped and she began sucking me off. Dude! It was one of the best blows I've EVER had. So as she moaning from this guy pounding her, I feel that on my dick and I begin to focus on the movie. What did you put on? I don't remember that Belladonna flick."
I gesture to not change the subject, as I can sense his reluctance of telling me this.
"Ok, well, she was sucking me off, but something felt off. ...i noticed that my balls were rubbing against the back of this guy's shaved head. When I noticed it, I got very limp. The worst part is, she started patronizing it and mocking it. Saying 'aww, is he scared?'"
Rick used to be the bouncer at this bar that gained notoriety as the Fight Bar. Most people would call him Tree, (or Arbol in spanish) due to his tall intimidating physique, and threatening demeanor. Long, black guitar shredder hair in a braid reaching down to the small of his back and chin piece reaching down to his mid chest. Tattoos, most of them crappily done, but no one would ever confront him about that because he was quick to use to the bat more times than me.
Rick and I became friends before the shop, and actually been acquainted to me due to a past job I had running a hookah lounge downtown (See The Hookah Thread.) He was proud, had a childlike interest to games where you shoot Nazi's and his crappy, ghetto apartment was lined with porn that he stole (Dvd's and magazines), vibrating cock rings, the 2008 Tera Patrick calendar and 2 giant flags, one Confederate, and one Nazi. (The irony not lost on me, as he was Mexican, and the girls he would fuck were either fat Mexicans, or dirty army wives.) He always had a love/hate relationship with the shop, but was under a verbal agreement with the manager, that kept him from going back to jail (for assault, big shocker.)
The story is about Jackpot and Arbol. I came in at midnight, and usually, if I ever come in and he's working the 4-12, he sticks around with me, we kill a few cigs, and we talk and bullshit with the customers. This was around the time Call of Duty: World at War Demo was coming out and he asked about it. I'm a video game nerd myself so I indulge him with things I've read on the Internet and such. Some time has passed, and he's realizing that he should probably go home and sleep as he is my relief at 8 in the morning. As he exits and jumps into his rusted, beat up, yellow with black racing striped 60's era Camero, he notices that familiar black Escalade pull up and he quickly bolts out of the car and comes behind the counter with me. Jackpot walks in. I give them the nod to go ahead and they reciprocate with an eager smile and a polite neighborly hand wave.
"Dude, I'm going in. I don't give a fuck. Joe can suck my donkey dick." As he would typically say. He walks in with all the authority in the is own little world and the chime of the theater door hits and, he's in.
Time passes, and I'm doing my hourly cash count and sales track. No cash really made and no sales either. In a blur, he storms out the theater and a mumbled "I'll see you later" and he's out the door. I froze for a moment longer than his dramatic storm off and quickly rushed to text him.
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-What happened?-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-I'll tell you later.-
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-Did the balls touch?-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-Shut the fuck up. No. I'm going home to have a beer and if I'm drunk enough, I'll call you.-
[b}From Adam XXX-XXX-XXXX[/b]
-...the balls touched.-
From Rick XXX-XXX-XXXX
-Fuck you.-
I never received a call back that night. He came in at 8, on time, and when I asked, he would just nod, glare at me, and I knew to shut up. It wasn't until a trip to my favorite watering hole a couple weeks later, did he tell me.
After killing about 7 pitchers of Amber Bock (oh and we're alcoholics. You had to be to work at a place like that for as long as we did), Arbol begins to open up.
"What happened that night, was they were in the middle row. She was riding him, hard. He was facing the screen and she was facing the back of the theater, rightly so. There wasn't that many people in the theater but a couple regulars so I went over his shoulder and unzipped and she began sucking me off. Dude! It was one of the best blows I've EVER had. So as she moaning from this guy pounding her, I feel that on my dick and I begin to focus on the movie. What did you put on? I don't remember that Belladonna flick."
I gesture to not change the subject, as I can sense his reluctance of telling me this.
"Ok, well, she was sucking me off, but something felt off. ...i noticed that my balls were rubbing against the back of this guy's shaved head. When I noticed it, I got very limp. The worst part is, she started patronizing it and mocking it. Saying 'aww, is he scared?'"
My bad on the mid bolds. I was trying to make it dramatic and failed miserably. haha!
hey , it works. Keep posting!
Good story...i went limp also
This thread needs a metric fuck ton of purell
silly Luke....Purell is a terrible lubricant!
Think about it... People sitting in the ass juice and wang extract left by others. This is worst than seeing a hooker.
We used to have a hand sanitizer next to the register. Came with that little business card holder. That was the hand sanitizer for customers. Arbol and I knew the only way to wash away semen and sin was with bleach and moonshine (or Sotol.)
Nice...luke E Pierre passes judgement
Honey... what is this 'Ray's Jack Shack' business card in your pocket?
Did people really take business cards?
"Wow, I really enjoy the feel of middle-aged married men's saliva drying on my cock... Oh goody, here is some portable documentation just in case I feel like doing this again and unfortunately, as is my habit, have lost the coordinates of such an establishment"
Did people really take business cards?
"Wow, I really enjoy the feel of middle-aged married men's saliva drying on my cock... Oh goody, here is some portable documentation just in case I feel like doing this again and unfortunately, as is my habit, have lost the coordinates of such an establishment"
There should be a weekly tv show of a guy working at the porn store.
Everyone knew who we were and what you could do there. I used to have field trips to the arcade and theater for those kids who JUST turned 18 and wanted to scare 'em. Morally, I know it's really fucked up to treat these human beings as sideshow attractions...
"And on your left, you'll see Disco Trucker. It is rumored that he once sucked 37 dicks and possibly had a reach around with Orson Welles."
The guy was stationed in 'Nam (or 'Man, whatever makes you laugh) and talked about having a beer with Unicron's voice. As an aspiring film maker, that just piqued my interest. But I digress again, some of the regulars enjoyed it.
"And on your left, you'll see Disco Trucker. It is rumored that he once sucked 37 dicks and possibly had a reach around with Orson Welles."
The guy was stationed in 'Nam (or 'Man, whatever makes you laugh) and talked about having a beer with Unicron's voice. As an aspiring film maker, that just piqued my interest. But I digress again, some of the regulars enjoyed it.
Shibby, help me write a movie about porn store employees.
Funny you mention that Byte, cause I've been wanting to work on that for a LONG time. Even if I have to Drunk History it and cut it up into narration and cheesy acting. I have enough true stories and I could possibly even go get the actual people to play themselves. I know Priest totally would.
Shibbyadam needs to write a book.
f5'd reading the whole thing. There's already a tv show and a movie!
Srsly.
Funny shit.
I aint gonna lie when I turned 18 I had to see what the deal was with the Paris XXX Theater.
It was an arcade and a movie theater.
Of horrors
I aint gonna lie when I turned 18 I had to see what the deal was with the Paris XXX Theater.
It was an arcade and a movie theater.
Of horrors
Shibby, welcome to Fazed
you've got damn good writing skills, your stories flow
Get on that screen play!
you've got damn good writing skills, your stories flow
Get on that screen play!
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