Granted, but it's a Mac.

I wish i would've bought more Google stock. 

I wish i would've bought more Google stock.

Granted, but Youtube lawsuits will bring down the company the day before you sell it to make your millions.

I wish for world peace. 

granted, but it's under a worldwide authoritarian government.

i wish for inner peace. 

I wish for world peace.

Aliens from space attack earth.

I wish for a weed wacker. 

I wish for a weed wacker.

Granted, but its used to trim your pubic hairs daily.

I wish for a goose that lays golden eggs. 

baba give item said:

granted, but it's under a worldwide authoritarian government.

i wish for inner peace.

granted, but now you're a Mormon.

I wish I ran Fazed. 

Granted, but you accidentally run it over before it lays anything.

I wish for sleep. 

granted, but now it's fark

I wish I had vagina on my face now. 

Let's pretend that wasn't an f5. It's much better that way. 

We B Gig OlO said:

granted, but now it's fark

I wish I had vagina on my face now.

granted, but you have to shoot a gang bang scene with twenty dudes.

I wish I had more time. 

I wish I ran Fazed.

Granted, but now you're married.

I wish for sleep.

Granted, but you don't wake up.

I wish for a decent philips head screwdriver. 

I wish I had more time.

Granted, but you're going to waste it.

I wish for a banana. 

I wish for a banana.

Granted...but it's rotten.

I wish for a post-it note. 

I wish for a post-it note.

granted, but it doesn't post.

I wish for sunshine 

I wish for sunshine

Granted...but you get melanoma.

I wish for a party. 

I wish for a party.

Granted, but no one shows up.

I wish I could meet people. 

Granted, but "people" is a 500 lb man-raping gorilla who had an owner with a strange penchant for naming his animals in plural nouns.

I wish for the ability to stop and start time. 

Granted, but no one shows up.

Well, that's hardly a change.
Nobody ever shows up to my parties. 

I wish I could meet people.

Granted, but they are all Crab-people

I wish for loud noises. 

I wish for loud noises.

Granted, but they all arise from your anal sphincter at the most unopportune moments.

I wish for a hoverboard. 

spince said:

I wish for the ability to stop and start time.

Granted, but your power only works when you're making out with women over 70.

I wish i could grow a lumberjack beard. 

Mofunk said:

Granted, but they all arise from your anal sphincter at the most unopportune moments.

I wish for a hoverboard.

Granted, but your you slip off your hoverboard and it slides right up the ass of SMB.

I wish for a large shoehorn. 

"your you" is a new thing...go with it. 

Wish denied. 

I wish i could grow a lumberjack beard.

Granted...but you grow it while serving 3 years' solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

I wish for some shiny spectator shoes. 

I wish for some shiny spectator shoes.

Granted, but they are stuck on Wesley Willis' corpse's feet.

I wish I was remembered fondly by all the people in my life. 

I wish I was remembered fondly by all the people in my life.

Granted, but they all die before you.

Frankly, I haven't got a wish at the moment.

I guess I wish I wasn't sick. 

Granted, but you are remember for fondling all the people in your life.

I wish I could breathe underwater 

Granted, but the air you breath smells like a turkish cabby getting a perm while eating gorgonzola cheese in the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

I wish Sanjaya to win Idol 

granted, but she trips, falls off the stage, and dies while celebrating her victory

I wish I was done with school 

Granted, but because you're now dead.

I wish they still made banana fudgesicles. 

espritdescalier said:

Wish denied.

esprit'

you have hurt me 3 too many times. 

I wish they still made banana fudgesicles.

Granted, but they give you mouth herpies.

I wish I had a new cell phone. 

granted but it can only dial one number
1-800-mixalot

I wish I could fly 

Granted, but only to New Jersey and Waterloo.

I wish I could woo any female I come in contact with. 

I wish I could woo any female I come in contact with.

granted, but you're R. Kelly.

I wish I had a cigarette pack that never ran out ever. 

Granted, but cigarettes cause lung cancer.

I wish I had and endless supply of rocket pops 

granted, but every single cig has been inserted into crooky's ass

I wish I knew the meaning of life 

Granted...

but the meaning of life IS in Crookys ass and you have your divers license. 

Granted..

But that still means you're driving away from that horrible incident in a puce AMC Pacer 

Forgot a wish..

I wish my computer would run a lot smoother. 

Granted. Your computer sprouts feet and takes off, quiet as night.

I wish that I had a small kitten. 

Granted...

your kitten sprouts feet and takes off, quiet as night. 

Wait... 

granted...

looks back and says..."no!" 

I wish I was more drunk. 

granted.

but now you have herpes. 

I wish you people wouldn't keep doing it wrong. 

granted!

but we um, keep doing it wrong.

i wish i had some mac n' cheese right now. 

Granted.

But you just did it wrong yourself.

I wish for a sloth.