was that enough threadjacks to warrant some deleting 

Nope, it's the TMI thread. If your penis size and my stroking aren't TMI then I don't know what is. 

Damn, I miss all the fun. 

I ate a fuckload of cabbage the other day. I think that says enough in itself. 

That doesn't say nearly enough. Continue. 

I fucked an ateload of cabbage the other day.
/wtf? 

I fucked an ateload of cabbage the other day.

You know, that might actually work...

brb grocery store 

That doesn't say nearly enough. Continue.

*composes self*

ahem,

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! 

Yelling out "OH GOD" and "JESUS" usually isn't funny during sex, except when you're doing it in a church. 

Earlier when I was cleaning the toilet, i lifted the seat and saw that there was... asspaint, we'll say... sprayed around. I cleaned it up promptly, as that is disgusting and i would not want to leave it there any longer than it had been.

A few moments ago, it occurred to me that there is someone in this house who sees the underside of the toilet seat on a regular basis, therefore this person has seen the spraypaint job numerous times since it was applied. Now, chances are good that it was my 'mess,' as my intestines have been a little overreactive as of late. However, I never see the underside of the seat being that I do not stand to pee. Usually.

I live with a disgusting pig who is okay with peeing in/ sitting on a diarrhea-splattered crapper.

I think i'll puke now. 

don't worry.. that'll be ok too 

I think i'll puke now

Don't clean up the splatter from that either and see if it stays crusted to the bottom of the seat for an extended time. Then you'll really know... 

of course you're assuming that he lifts the seat.. so 

I've been farting up a storm all night and it's those nasty rolling farts that you're praying are just gas and kind of smell like they've been dry roasted. 

Dom brokded teh TMI!!!!1 

i'm sitting here in the floor of my room, staring up at a computer monitor, keyboard resting on my lap, shirtless, in the dark. The box fan in my room is running, i have a blanket over my legs, and a nintendo DS resting on my crotch.

I'm talking to a radio DJ online about our basset hounds eating random things, and i let out this tremendous fart.

Now, taking note that all i had eaten the past few weeks has been either taco bell or chicken products, this is a pretty hefty fart. The DS slides down my lap, rubbing against my little head, and falls off of my lap. The sudden unexpected contact gave me a hardon, so i'm sitting here now, keyboard lopsided because of an unexpected boner, absorbing the aroma of colon-sauteed 3-day-old taco bell and barbecue chicken. 

thats a good one. adding the ds in there makes it hold your attention 

A few moments ago, it occurred to me that there is someone in this house who sees the underside of the toilet seat on a regular basis, therefore this person has seen the spraypaint job numerous times since it was applied

my husband cleans the can. every so often whilst cleaning the rest of the bathroom i'll give it a quick check to see if the can needs it too. once or twice, it's been just like yours KFM. I shudder in horror at the number of guests who possibly could have seen it, and then give hubby shit for at least not asking me to clean it if he's to lazy at that moment! 

Toilet cleaning, huh?

Some of the worst kinds of bathrooms are those at public pools. Not only are they always wet because there's no ventilation, and the only people in there have just come out of the pool, but people don't feel any hesitation to take impossibly huge craps without flushing.

Today's story is of a child whom, I guess, decided he wanted to be an artist. I'm a lifeguard, I walk in after the fact, just a routine bathroom check. My first reaction when I smelled that odor was to look down. There was crap smeared all over the floor, bits of corn (maybe) and stains of red in it. It didn't end there though, I followed the trail of crap up the wall, I don't know if the kid threw it or he was trying to paint. Finally, after a shudder, I looked up. Yes, there was a brown liquid dripping from the ceiling.

Please, please, just flush when you're done. 

Dom brokded teh TMI!!!!1

I'll be more gentle next time, I didn't know it was so delicate. 

I hate it when people shit in the urinals. You disgusting fucks deserve to die... or at least be forced to shit out your mouth for the rest of your lives.

Oh yeah and WASH your hands. 

i'm sick. the shit i'm coughing up looks like earwax. occasionally, so as to mix it up a bit, i also sneeze the stuff out. 

My asshole feels greasy today. I haven't had McDonald's in months so I am at a loss to explain it. 

i'm sick. the shit i'm coughing up looks like earwax. occasionally, so as to mix it up a bit, i also sneeze the stuff out.

Does it smell like vinegar? If so, you have a sinus infection. 

Does it smell like vinegar? If so, you have a sinus infection.

Really? I can't smell it....thank goodness! 

My asshole feels greasy today. I haven't had McDonald's in months so I am at a loss to explain it.

Eek! I hope no one tried to PIYB when you were asleep! 

My asshole feels greasy today. I haven't had McDonald's in months so I am at a loss to explain it.

I'll clean you up better next time. 

I'll clean you up better next time.

My asshole is also still herpes free so it definitely wasn't you. 

Ahhh, I woke up with a ring of santorum around my forearm and wondered from whom it came. Now I know... 

im sore from fucking so long and hard earlier. 

So you did get a ride! 

my farts are stinking today, really glad the windows are open, they got a real meaty smell to them. 

i gave a ride and got a ride in return. the barter system is a handy thing. 

I think I'm owed a few rides. 

I have a small red, swollen cyst with a dark black blotch in the middle of it on my inner left thigh.

Pre Operative Diagnosis: Subcutaneous Cyst
Post Operative Diagnosis: Same

A 70% Isotrophyl Alcohol scrub was applied to the effected area. A minute incision was then made subcutaneously to the patient's left lower extremity. The wound was then irrigated and debrided by a firm squeezing action. A sterile bandage was then applied.

Yeah, that's right. I just popped this zit thing with a safety pin. Rawr. 

I had two enchiladas last night. Today more air has passed thru my sphincter than my lungs. I've been downstairs all day farting and my wife just complained about the smell....She is upstairs. 

i was seriously hungover at work today. around 11, i think its starting to subside, so i had half a bagel. and it resulted in the most awful puke of my life. pure mushy bagel sludge, the same colour as when i ate it, with little black raisin spots. cinnamon and raisin kind. if anyone's seen the new batman film, it was like the bit where batman makes dr krane inhale the drug and black sludges oozes out his mouth.

urgh. 

im sore from fucking so long and hard earlier.

That you John Wayne? 

That you John Wayne?

Private Joker? 

Just now,
In the shower,
I had to blow my nose,
But the kleenex were too far away so I just used my fingertips
And then washed them off.

...does anyone else do that? It doesn't seem THAT bad, just kinda weird... 

im your private dancer.
dancer for money
do what you want me to do. 

...does anyone else do that? It doesn't seem THAT bad, just kinda weird...

I don't guess it's so bad if you are alone buy my ex used to do that shit when we'd shower together. I hated it so much. 

Showers loosen all the rubbish in your nose and throat. 

I live with a disgusting pig who is okay with peeing in/ sitting on a diarrhea-splattered crapper.

STELLAHHHH!!! 

Hehe.
Ick.
I almost put in another little stanza,
About how I probably wouldn't do that while showering with someone,
But I don't have too much experience in that department unfortunately...
:( 

Showers loosen all the rubbish in your nose and throat.

Bladder, too...
I think it heats it or something, and makes it feel more full than it is.
Good thing my toilet is an easy shot from the shower. 

my ex used to do that shit when we'd shower together.

"Lincoln Logs" in the rain room. 

Good thing my toilet is an easy shot from the shower.

Them YMCAs were built for function, weren't they? 

Just now,
In the shower,
I had to blow my nose,
But the kleenex were too far away so I just used my fingertips
And then washed them off.

Um, is that bad or something? I always thought it was cool cause you are in the shower 

Snot in the shower ain't nothing. Meh.
It's when you irrigate your colostomy and leave feces on the rubber duckie.
Now that's disgusting.