Paging bump ... 

i like this one better 

I would totally sniff Slumlord's bicycle seat. 

WTF does TMI stand for? 

I feel like,... like I'm watching my child drive away from home... I cannot bear to see the old TMI die... 

WTF does TMI stand for?

Touch My Insides 

What does "II" stand for? 

So many Doris stories.

So many Bump stories.

/le sigh...... 

Two 

So many Doris stories.

So many Bump stories.

Bump + Doris = good american fun!!!!!!!!!!! 

I thought it was short for "Touch My Insides, Il Jong". 

I wonder what the addwords for this are gonna end up as... 

So many Doris stories.

So many Bump stories.

/le sigh...... 

No kidding... I feel like a friend has died... 

Damn.

Beaten by mere seconds. 

you can still access them. you bunch of goofballs! 

In Allentown, PA I saw a bears leg as a lampstand. It wasn't well kept and I vomited all over it.

Two days later, I saw it next to the store dumpster being chewed on by cats. 

I saw it next to the store dumpster being chewed on by cats.

You'd think they would have gone for the bears leg with vomit sauce. 

YEAH, YOU WOULD THINK 

Stupid cats. 

Yay, new tagline! Thanks bump. 

For the first time last night, I went to the bathroom wearing a skirt.
God, what a pain. 

For the first time last night, I went to the bathroom wearing a skirt.

fdp 

last night when the mister was going to bed i went in and got him all riled up. as i was being pounded from the back, he came out all the way and back in, and my 'gina sucked in a big gulp of air. it made this tiny little whoosh noise, like sucking air through a straw. after we were all climaxed out, i flattened out on my belly to bask in afterglow and the air that was trapped came rushing out in a fit of sex-juice bubbles and a little labia minora flappage. 

the air that was trapped came rushing out in a fit of sex-juice bubbles and a little labia minora flappage.

I hate this thread. 

If I had eaten anything in the past two days, I'd be vomiting like a sick cat right now. 

Did it sound like pulling a boot out of the mud during low tide? 

My threads are legendary... TMI, Random Thoughts, etc... 

the air that was trapped came rushing out in a fit of sex-juice bubbles and a little labia minora flappage.

Sooo hot. 

Did it sound like pulling a boot out of the mud during low tide?

uh... sort of. not quite that loud or intense. And without the low-tide smell.

Jesus christ, lowy and rabbs- it was just a sex queef. 

If I had eaten anything in the past two days, I'd be vomiting like a sick cat right now.

And why the fuck aren't you eating? 

Jesus christ, lowy and rabbs- it was just a sex queef.

I know, it happens. I just have a week stomach sometimes when things like this get too descriptive.

Nothing more horrifying to me, though, than brand new babies with all that goo all over them. It's disturbing to me. I'm getting throaty just typing this. Blech. Miracle of birth my ass. 

baby goo. nice. 

Nothing more horrifying to me, though, than brand new babies with all that goo all over them.

Here's something even more horrifying to you Lowness. Think about taking a big 'ole lick of that newborn gooey baby.

Mmmmmmmmmm, baby goo..... 

And why the fuck aren't you eating?

Mind your own goddamn business, luv. 

It's the coke. 

Mind your own goddamn business, luv.

*growls*

*smiles sweetly*

I'll shut up this time goddamnit. 

Here's something even more horrifying to you Lowness. Think about taking a big 'ole lick of that newborn gooey baby.

Ah, geez... stop already. 

<3 

Miracle of birth my ass... 

Think about taking a big 'ole lick of that newborn gooey baby.

A mere lick? Bah! Slurp that baby gooness up! Purse those lips....you've got it. 

And why the fuck aren't you eating?

... I'd love to find a way to not be constantly thinking about eating... 

last night when the mister was you going to bed i went in and got him you all riled up. as i was being pounded from the back, he your giant cock came out all the way and back in, and my 'gina sucked in a big gulp of air. it made this tiny little whoosh noise, like sucking air through a straw. after we were all climaxed out, i flattened out on my belly to bask in afterglow and the air that was trapped came rushing out in a fit of sex-juice bubbles and a little labia minora flappage.

Problem fixed, let the fappage begin. Hooray for the queefing pussies!

what... doesnt everyone have this fetish? 

Babies covered in goo? Are we talking about the birth of MJ's kids? 

I used to be able to get the ex in just the right position and get it to honk on every stroke, untill I would fall over laughing. All it did was piss her off. Some people got no sense of humor... 

This was when you were in prison, yes? 

I used to be able to get the ex in just the right position and get it to honk on every stroke, untill I would fall over laughing. All it did was piss her off. Some people got no sense of humor...

That happened once, for like five pumps. we had to stop for a second we were laughing so hard. Too bad my coot felt funny for the next five hours. 

of sorts...did my time, though. 28 years & 11 months. 

Nothing more horrifying to me, though, than brand new babies with all that goo all over them.

I thought the worst part of any of the births I witnessed was not the baby coming out, but right after the baby came out- it was like a cork being pulled out of a bottle or something. The doc pulled the little guy out and he was immediately followed by this HUGE tidal wave of bloody, slimy, mucus like liquid. It literally poured out of my wife and I will never, ever forget the SPLOOSH sound as it hit the floor. I almost lost it right there.

Even worse was that the room was a birthing room, so after the baby was born, they just mopped up and left us in that room for the rest of the hospital stay. I kept looking at that spot on the floor and wondering how many other women had splooshed bloody snot all over the room the whole time she was in the hospital. 

New dirtyness.

Me likey 

The doc pulled the little guy out and he was immediately followed by this HUGE tidal wave of bloody, slimy, mucus like liquid. It literally poured out of my wife and I will never, ever forget the SPLOOSH sound as it hit the floor. I almost lost it right there.

Yep, I'm not coming back into this thread until after lunch.